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Cheeky Slappers

by Mark Delstanche

On the 19th September 2021, upon reaching Tower Bridge, Mark became the first person to row solo and unsupported from New York to London during the worst year of summer storms in the North Atlantic for 40 years.

Whether fighting fires or staring down a Polar Bear in his underpants, his experiences in life have taken him to the highest point on earth and seen him tackling some of the most extreme environments on the planet, pushing the very limits of human endeavour and setting two world records in the process.

Join Mark on his incredible journey, from his upbringing in suburban London to his time served in the London Fire Brigade and subsequently his career in Super-yachting, including some of the many adventures along the way.

“I was nearly finished and fully rigged when another almighty gust tore the tent to pieces around me, sending any remaining bits of gear into the air and over the precipice into the void hundreds of metres below"

Excerpt from CHEEKY SLAPPERS

“…a polar bear entered the bay looking for something to eat, having smelt the promise of food from many miles away in the form of dog food put out for the huskies. As it approached, the dogs went crazy, alerting the Inuit of the danger. The regulations are that every attempt has to be made to deter the bear and scare it away which was done by firing bangers close to it. This worked but two days later the bear returned, obviously starving.”

Excerpt from CHEEKY SLAPPERS

“Thirteen hours after leaving Camp 2 that morning, I made it back to Plaza Argentina to be greeted by the cook brandishing a mug of the most delicious orange squash that I’d tasted in my entire life. Up until then, climbing Aconcagua had been the hardest thing that I had ever done. Never before had I reached the point where I had found myself on the descent, sitting at 6,000 metres groping for the strength to continue.”

Excerpt from CHEEKY SLAPPERS

“Cursing myself for being such a f**king idiot for getting myself into this position and talking to Helene out loud, telling her that I was pleased she wasn’t there to witness this as she’d have had my guts for garters, I jumped into the water with a line tied around me.”

Excerpt from CHEEKY SLAPPERS

“…looking out over the ocean which mirrored the incredible skies as the sun set in blissful contemplation of the voyage behind me and the journey yet to come. The conditions stayed flat calm all night and I had the best sleep since the start of the adventure, a slow current only setting me back four miles southeast overnight.”

Excerpt from CHEEKY SLAPPERS

"This book takes you on an inspiring journey of incredible adventures filled with grit, determination and purpose…"

Jordan Wylie MBE,
Extreme Adventurer & Sunday Times Bestselling Author
Review for CHEEKY SLAPPERS

"Cheeky Slappers is a thrilling saga of an ordinary man's extraordinary exploits. Each page unfolds a riveting tale of courage and perseverance; truly a triumph of human endeavour."

Ed Stafford
Review for CHEEKY SLAPPERS

"Cheeky Slappers is a fantastic read. You will be gripped by Mark’s every word, and will leave you feeling incredibly positive about what the human body can achieve both physically and mentally. The humour is brilliant and you will likely to be caught out laughing more than once"

Mark Wheatley
Review for CHEEKY SLAPPERS

"Have you ever wondered what it takes to row to the North Pole, climb Mount Everest and do a solo row across the Atlantic? Well, read the book and find out! It was very accessible without superfluous technical minutiae. I enjoyed the book immensely."

Ivan Majstorovic
Review for CHEEKY SLAPPERS

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Mark was born in the suburbs of London in 1974 and had a very ‘normal’ upbringing, raised along with his elder sister by his father, a fire fighter and his mother, a school dinner lady.

From early on in his life, it was fairly obvious to anybody observing that he had zero aptitude for sports requiring any degree of speed or skill however, over time , it became apparent that he did at least have a grit and determination to endure more than most others, always being able to ‘out plod’ kids bigger and stronger than him.

Though his upbringing was fairly normal, a lust for life, introduced to him by his father would skew him in different directions over the years and Mark, not one to pass up an opportunity for adventure, took full advantage of new challenges open to him.

Through a combination of life choices and chance conversations, he would go on to pursue careers in the London Fire Brigade and super-yachting. Latterly, he discovered a passion for adventure travel which would fuel a desire to push the very limits of human endeavour, at first in mountaineering, then on the high seas, culminating in an attempt to set a new world record by becoming the first person in history to row solo and unsupported from New York to London.

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